Friday, December 13, 2013

The Ol' "God Told Me" Routine

I may have already mentioned this but, did you know, I've survived two raptures?  Since you are reading this, I assume you have as well.

See, as a child, I was told without a doubt that Jesus was returning in the 80s.  Digging back into all of that, I think some of that was Hal Lindsey, some was TBN, and in my household, a lot of it was my mother.  I honestly grew up believing I would never see adulthood.  You might not think that is a big deal but when you are a child, knowing you are not ever going to be an adult does change how you think.

Of course, by the time the late 80s rolled around and still no Appearance, I was in full-blown rebellion mode.  I'd seen too many prophesies fizzle and was just fed up with the attempt to control my life with the "God told me..." routine.

At one point, I asked what had happened.  Why didn't Jesus show?  Turns out my mother, et al... had misunderstood the prophesy.  Jesus was actually returning before 2000 without a doubt.  My mother has said repeatedly from my very first memories that God told her she would never die.  She was going to be raptured.  Her churches love that stuff.  They eat it up.  As a result, her prophesies grow and become more frequent.

I remember the year she was heavily speaking faith.  I was an adult by this time.  About January of that year, God told her my father was absolutely going to become a Christian.  No doubt that would take a Saul/Paul experience but she she had faith and, after all, God told her...  The year wore on, no conversion.  Every conversation with her though would bring mention of his impending conversion.  The next year, I just had to know what happened.  Keep in mind, by that point, I didn't take her "God told Me's" seriously but since that was such a part of that last year, just had to know what she'd say.  Silly her, she misunderstood God.  It was actually that I would become pregnant during that year.  Oh my goodness, she was correct.  I was pregnant.  Keep in mind, I had been pregnant for months before she made that revelation.

And, that is what happens with the "God told Me's"  Sometimes they would happen.  Most often they would happen after the fact.  She'd share her revelation AFTER it occurred.  "I knew that would happen, God told me..."  Apparently, she knew I'd be pregnant that year because a 'prophetess' told her but she didn't reveal that to me to later and, no, the 'prophetess' never even mentioned that it would be her daughter pregnant only that somebody would become pregnant.  That was revealed to me months after I had already revealed my pregnancy.  Generally, though, her predictions ended up not being true.  Honestly, I have a much better guessing record that her "God told me" record.

"And the Lord said to me, “The prophets prophesy lies in My name. I have not sent them, commanded them, nor spoken to them; they prophesy to you a false vision, divination, a worthless thing, and the deceit of their heart."  Jeremiah 14:14

Oh, and not all her "God told Me's" were predictions.  They would also be a way to try and change me.  They were about control.  After all, if God has told somebody something, who are you to argue.  Any time she wanted the last word on the subject, it would end with a "God told me" and your argument, no matter what it was would become invalid.

One think I do know, her claims never make God look good.  When she gets the occasional prediction correct, it is for her glory and her glory alone.

Sad to say, my sister is following in her footsteps.  Interesting that my mother seems to relish when my sister gets it wrong.  For example, some years back, it was predicted to be a very cold winter where we were.  La Nina years usually meant snow for our area.  That's no secret.  Weathermen were talking about it on television and my mom and sister are big TV-weather watchers.  So, God tells my sister that it will snow at Christmas.  They are guaranteed to have a white Christmas and my sister prepares.  Didn't happen.  It did however snow a couple months later which is usually when they get a bit of snow anyway.  So my mother asked my sister (which my mother gleefully reported to me in a phone conversation), "What happened?  Why didn't it snow?"  My sister's no dummy after being under the tutelage of the master for so many years.  God had meant that it would snow during "the Christmas season."  Didn't realize the Christmas season extended to February/March but so be it.  Just hard for me to know that I'm losing my sister to this nonsense.

At some point I would like to tackle why I really believe the "God told Me's" are actually breaking the Third Commandment but I will leave that for another day.

“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."  Exodus 20:7

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