So, what has changed? Why am I back?
Early this year I cut ties with my family. Such a difficult decision. I've been praying and asking Pastors how do I balance honoring my mother with the fact that she is also a false prophet? That has been such a struggle for me.
I think my answer became clear when I realized that my mother was actually suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It was like a lightbulb turned on. The missing puzzle piece was found. My life, my childhood, our family, well, it all started to make sense. This word of faith thing? It wasn't the problem. Yes, it is a problem but it was and is a symptom of the much larger problem. My mother found a 'me-centered' theology that allowed her to share directly words for 'god' that backed up everything she believes should be true. She found the perfect way to control others, by being God's mouthpiece.
Funny, one of the things I've felt healed of was her pronouncement of generational sin on my own family. I remember being very pregnant with my second child. My first child was several years old and going through therapy for Sensory Integration Disorder. Wonderful child and, really, it is not that big of a deal. He's much older now and there are very few signs of it. Anyhow, I remember getting a call one night as I was very heavily pregnant and my husband was deployed. Let me stop and say right here, pregnancy and deployments? Stressful enough. Add to that a mother who calls you out of the blue to tell you that 'god' told her that we really needed to be praying for my unborn child. We needed to break the curse passed down from my husband's family's bloodline which she implied was the reason for my son's 'issues'. God had really put that on her heart. She proceeded to put down my husband's family a bit in a very 'caring' way or so I'm sure that is what she believes.
Taking a moment to take a deep breath.
This was just another way she was putting me in my place and pronouncing judgment on my family. This was all about control. What do I believe about generational curses? I believe what God has revealed to us through His Word.
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. ~ Exodus 20:5-6I don't have to waste time worrying about my mother's supposed curse. I love the Lord. I have no doubt about that. I've been forgiven much and God loves me! I won't tell you there won't be rough times because there certainly are but His promise is that He'll carry me through them and He does!
Now I really want to post all of Ezekiel 18 here but, I'll post snippets and, if you are concerned about generational sin, I encourage you to spend time praying and reading that chapter. What an eye opener!
The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: “‘The parents eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? “As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child—both alike belong to me. The one who sins is the one who will die. ~ Ezekiel 18:1-4Ironically, this said, I do feel as if I'm healing from the "generational" sin in my own family: The curses passed down by my own mother of which I am still in the process of healing.